Saturday, November 10, 2012

Theatre Humor! My Best Theatre Jokes

Saturdays were made for laughing. Here are a couple of the best Theatre Jokes straight from the Ricky Young collection!

Two Classics

Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 
A: 100- 1 to screw it in and 99 to stand in the wings and go, "I would be perfect for that! It should have been me up there!

A Stage Manager's View of the World: The tech crew trips over ledges that were clearly marked, actors trip over strips of tape on the floor, dancers trip over strips of tape that were pulled up yesterday.

Los Angeles Theatre Center

A Fly on the Wall

A production meeting is going on for a show... the set designer says that they can install a chandelier in the set. The lighting designer loves the idea. The stage manager has a brief question about how it should be brought in during scene changes. The Shop Foreman says he can install it with no problems. The Producer asks whether or not they can buy one used to come in under budget. The Director slams his hand down on the table in a huff. Everyone looks at him.

"I don't like this idea!" The director screams, "For one thing no one around here can spell it, second I don't know how the actors are going to have to deal with this, and if you look at my memos I specifically gave you notes saying that I wanted some more light on that stage!"

And my Personal Favorite

A Stage Manager and a Stage Hand die and go to heaven. St. Peter looks at them and says, "Well you guys did die a terrible, horrific death. I'll make you a deal, if any of you guys have one last wish I'll see if I can grant it. "

The Stage Hand's last wish is for the best stage crew in the entire world. St. Peter snaps his fingers and an army of angels descends to be his eternal Celestial Stage Crew. The Stage Manager looks at this and is encouraged. He asks for one last blackout, one that encompasses all of heaven and is truly, completely black. St. Peter again snaps his fingers and suddenly the deepest blackness falls all over the world. The lights come back on and the Stage Manager, St. Peter, and the rest of them and they find themselves in the deepest pit of Hell. 
The Stage Hand and the Crew brush themselves off and say, "Best scene change ever huh?"

Los Angeles Theatre Center

Do you guys have any favorite jokes? Wanna hear some more? Post a comment below.

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